Krishna and Katyayani

"Will you be able to tell elder brother what you saw on Govardhan Hill, mother?" Kutila asked as she hurried beside Jatila.

"Why would I not be able to tell him?" Jatila snapped. "I saw it with my own eyes, and I cannot speak of it? In front of so many people! Shame! What a disgrace from the daughter-in-law of the house!"

"Yes, let him come home today," Kutila said bitterly. "Then I will show him the fun."

"You are right, mother," she went on. "We must tell elder brother everything. Otherwise, we will not be able to show our face in society. Come, mother, walk fast."

Jatila started toward home with her daughter Kutila. Her head was burning with anger. After seeing with her own eyes what she believed was the shameful conduct of her daughter-in-law, she no longer wished to let Radharani enter the house. But she could not do that without asking her son. So she did not even look back at the festival of Vrindavan. All its color and joy now felt unbearable to her. She wanted only one thing—to reach home as fast as possible.

Their house was only a few steps away. From there Jatila began calling out loudly for her son.

"Ayan! O Ayan!"

Ayan came out at once. "What happened, mother? Has some danger come? Why are you so upset?"

"Should I not be upset?" Jatila cried. "I have been telling you for so long, but you never value my words!"

"What are you saying, mother? I do not value your words? Tell me what has happened. Did someone insult you, mother?"

"No, son, not yet. But now they will. Everyone will shame us. If you let that girl enter the house, our ruin will come."

Ayan stared at her in confusion. "Will Ayan ruin us? Whom are you talking about, mother?"

"I am talking about Radha, who else, son? Whatever I tell you, you do not believe. Now go and see with your own eyes what kind of play is going on at Govardhan Hill."

"Please tell me everything," Ayan said. "What happened? What did Radha do?"

Kutila answered before her mother could speak. "Our doubt was true, brother. Gaurani is playing colors with that Krishna. The two of them have gone completely mad. They have no sense of anything around them. The whole people of Vrindavan are nearby, and all of them can see them. Shame, shame, shame! What shame! Radha did this! We saw it with our own eyes, brother—with the son of Nandagopa."

"Enough, Kutila," Jatila said sharply. "You do not need to say any more. Will he believe your words? He will only believe if he sees it himself. Go, son. That son of Nandagopa is still sitting on Govardhan with his group. Go and see your wife's bad conduct with your own eyes."

Ayan spoke slowly. "But Radha told me that today too she would go to Govardhan Hill to worship Katyayani."

Jatila laughed coldly. "Did we not go to the Katyayani temple? Then go and see how your wife is doing Katyayani worship, son. Why should we share her fault?"

Ayan's face grew dark with pain. "Yes. I will see everything with my own eyes. I am going right now."

Ayan Ghosh became filled with sorrow and hurt. He could hardly believe that Radharani could do such a thing. Still, how could he ignore the words of his mother and sister? So he set out for Govardhan. The farther he walked, the stronger the struggle became inside his mind.

His mother and sister perhaps did not know it, but Ayan had deep respect for his wife Radha. Would Ayan, that very Ayan, be able to protect the honor of that respect? Thinking this, he reached the foot of Govardhan Hill.

There on the hill were Lord Krishna and Radharani.

King Parikshit asked, "Did he come to know about Ayan, Lord?"

Shukadeva Goswami replied, "Can anything remain unknown to Shri Bhagavan, O King? He sees everything with divine sight. In his subtle heart, every movement of all living beings is felt. The matter of Ayan Ghosh also did not remain hidden from him."

In the middle of joy and playful sport, Krishna suddenly said, "Stop the game, dear friend. This is no longer the time to play."

Radharani smiled and said, "Why, Krishna? Have you become tired so quickly, friend? Or have you remembered some other beloved again?"

Krishna answered, "I remembered your fate, Radhike."

"My fate? What does this teasing mean, Madhav?"

"Ayan Ghosh is coming, Radhe. After hearing blame about you from his mother and sister, he is now coming to see it with his own eyes."

At once the gopis became troubled.

"Now?" one of them cried. "Then what can be done now? Radha, hide behind some tree on this hill. When he goes away, we will tell you, all right?"

Another said, "Create some illusion so that Ayan Ghosh cannot see, Madhav. Protect Radha."

Krishna turned to Radha and asked, "What did you tell your husband today, Radhe?"

"That I would go with my friends to worship Katyayani. That is what I told him."

"And now?" Radha said anxiously. "What will happen now, Krishna? I do not even have any worship materials with me."

Krishna smiled. "Very well. Do not worry so much, dear one. You will indeed perform Katyayani worship."

"But how?" Radha asked. "There is no temple here, Madhav, and no idol either. Then how will I worship?"

"No idol? Who said that? Look at me carefully, Radha. Can you see Goddess Katyayani?"

"Katyayani!" Radha gasped.

King Parikshit asked in wonder, "Did Shri Krishna now stand there as Goddess Katyayani, O sage?"

"Yes, O King, that is right," said Shukadeva. "Krishna himself took the form of Katyayani. A great crown was on his head. He had four arms and three eyes. A wonderful light shone from him, and a peaceful smile rested on his face. He was the giver of boons and fearlessness."

Seeing this marvelous form, Shri Radha and her friends were filled with amazement.

Krishna, standing there as the Goddess, said gently, "Come, friend. Did you wish to worship Katyayani? Come, worship. Look, there are the plates of worship before you. All the worship items are there. Worship with all your heart."

Then Radha and her friends began to chant:

"Katyayan Mahamaye Mahayoginyadheshwari
Nanda Gopasutam Devipatime Kurute Namah.
Om Kling Katyayani Stha.
Om Kling Katyayani Stha.
Om Kling Katyayani Stha."

Shri Krishna stood there in the form of Katyayani, and Radha with her friends worshiped her with full devotion. They offered colored powder, vermilion, flowers, sandal paste, garlands, and incense.

From a distance Ayan Ghosh saw the whole scene. At once he bowed his head in respect and offered pranam. He himself too was a worshiper of Shakti, a devotee of Mother Kali. Seeing his wife worshiping the Divine Mother with such a full heart along with her friends, Ayan became greatly pleased and returned home.

Calling to his mother, he said, "I saw with my own eyes how Radha is blackening the face of the family, mother. You speak against her for no reason only because you cannot bear to see her."

Jatila stared at him. "For no reason? Did you not go to Govardhan Hill and see her play there?"

"I saw it," Ayan replied, "but not any love play. I saw her worship with all her heart and soul. Radha is worshiping Goddess Katyayani with her friends. It is a sin, mother, to speak lies against one who worships the Goddess. Do not make such a mistake again."

King Parikshit said, "I heard a wonderful tale, Lord."

Shukadeva answered, "This too is possible. He himself protects his devotees. In every event of Vrindavan, again and again I have seen the picture of his endless mercy."

Then he continued, "Yes, O King. Whoever places their burden on him, he himself takes all responsibility for them. He even changes the writing of fate with his own hands. That is why he is called the remover of fate, O Parikshit. And Vrindavan is the land of his own life-breath. That land is dearest to him. That is why he showed the cowherd people of Vrindavan a sight that even the gods cannot see."

Parikshit leaned forward. "What sight was that, Lord?"

Shukadeva said, "Yes, O King, he showed everyone Vaikuntha. The cowherds of Vrindavan went to Vaikuntha in their own bodies."

"Please tell me that story in full, Lord. I want to hear it."

"I will, O King. To tell that, I must tell the story of Maharaj Nanda. One day, after observing the Ekadashi fast, Maharaj Nanda went down into the waters of the Yamuna to bathe. Other gopis were standing on the bank of the Yamuna. But as soon as Nanda Raja entered the water, the servants of Varuna came and took him away to Varuna's world."

When Nanda vanished before their eyes, the cowherds were struck with fear. They ran at once to Krishna.

"Krishna! Krishna! They took Maharaj Nanda away!"

"Krishna, they took my father away!"

Krishna asked at once, "Who took him away?"

"The servants of Varuna took Nanda Raja away, Krishna. From out of sight he was calling your name. I heard it."

Krishna's eyes flashed. "What? Varuna has such boldness? I will dive into the Yamuna right now and bring my father back from Varuna's world."

Diving into the Yamuna, Krishna reached Varuna's realm. There he saw Nanda Raja and became very angry with Varuna.

"By what courage have you brought my father here, Varuna?" Krishna said. "What is his fault?"

Varuna folded his hands and bowed low. "Forgive my pride, Lord. I wished to have the joy of seeing you. Everyone in this world of Varuna was eager for your divine presence. So I brought Maharaj Nanda here. Without your coming, he could not be returned, Lord. Please accept my pranam. O Narayan, forgive us."

Krishna said, "So be it."

Seeing the honor and respect shown to Krishna in Varuna's world, Nanda Maharaj was deeply moved. When he returned to Braj, he told everyone what he had seen. Hearing of Krishna's greatness, the people of Braj gathered around him and said,

"We have one request, Madhav. All of us want to see Vaikuntha once. Please take us there."

"Yes, Krishna, we all want to see Vaikuntha."

"That Vaikuntha dham, the greatest of all worlds—take us there, son."

Krishna smiled. "All right then. Since you all wish it so much, I will show you Vaikuntha. Come with me. Dive into that Yamuna. Then you will at once reach Vaikuntha."

As Krishna told them, everyone dived into the Yamuna. And as soon as they dived, they reached Vaikuntha.

What a sight it was! All around that holy realm flashed a light like lightning. Brahma and all the gods were there. Some stood with folded hands, bowing to Shri Hari, and some were serving him. And Shri Hari himself, holding conch, discus, mace, and lotus, shone like millions of suns. He sat upon a divine throne on Shesh Nag. Countless bright jewel-like beings, divine sages, gandharvas, and the great souls of heaven and earth were praising him.

The cowherds of Braj reached Vaikuntha. Shri Hari himself received them with care and seated them on distant thrones. But in that solemn gathering, when the cowherd boys excitedly tried to say something, the attendants of Vaikuntha cried out, "Do not speak here. Can you not see that Shri Hari himself is sitting here? In his assembly only the Vedas are spoken. No one else has the right to speak."

The people of Braj did not like this grand silence. They said, "Our Braj dham was better. There we laugh with Krishna so much, and we play with him. We do not want to sit silently in Vaikuntha. O Krishna, come back to Braj with us now."

Krishna said, "So be it."

King Parikshit said in amazement, "How strange the people of Braj are! They went to Vaikuntha in their own bodies, yet they did not wish to stay there. Does anyone on earth get such a chance? Could they not even use such a chance well?"

Shukadeva smiled. "No, O King, it is not like that. The land of Braj is the place of sweetness. There, majesty has no honor. Sweetness is much higher than majesty. One who has love—what more does he lack, O King? What more does such a person want? He lives in joy with Krishna. The endless greatness of Shri Hari in Vaikuntha did not attract their hearts."

Parikshit nodded slowly. "Oh, I see. Now I understand that, O sage. That is also why Krishna later did not take Vrindavan with him to Mathura or Dwaraka. The role he had there would not suit Vrindavan. Those who have no wish even for Vaikuntha, what else could they want except sweetness?"

"Love and sweetness are therefore deeply joined with Vrindavan, O King," Shukadeva said. "That is why, after leaving Vrindavan, Krishna is no longer the lover."

Parikshit listened carefully. "You speak of leaving Vrindavan, Lord. Does that mean the days of the Vrindavan pastimes are coming to an end?"

"Yes, Parikshit," said Shukadeva. "Now he will bring the sweet pastimes to a close. The duty of work is a very great duty, O King. Now not love, but action is needed. But before that he must save Sudarshan and Shankhachur."

"Who are they, Lord?"

"Sudarshan is a gandharva. By a sage's curse, he became a python. He tried to swallow Maharaj Nanda whole."

"Who was he? And then what happened?"

"Then hear the event from the beginning, O King. Once, on the occasion of Shivaratri, Maharaj Nanda went with everyone to Ambika forest and worshiped Shiva. Then, pleased, he fed the brahmins. The day passed happily. But after sunset none of them could return home. Everyone lay down and slept on the bank of the Saraswati River. Very near where Maharaj Nanda lay, a huge python was hiding. It was terribly hungry. In the darkness of night, that snake slowly came near Maharaj Nanda and began to swallow him."

Soon Nanda Maharaj's feet were inside the python's mouth. In fear for his life he cried out loudly, "Krishna! Krishna! Krishna! Krishna! Save me, save me Krishna, save me!"

The people of Braj woke in terror.

"What a terrible thing this is! Whoever is where, come quickly! A huge python is swallowing Maharaj Nanda. Bring fire! Quickly bring burning wood!"

"Save me, save me! Krishna, save me, save me!"

The cowherds rushed to him with burning wood and began striking the snake. Some beat its body with sticks and clubs. But the snake was not harmed at all, and it did not release Nanda Raja.

In the middle of all this noise, Krishna came there. As soon as they saw him, the people of Braj cried out even louder. Maharaj Nanda began to weep. Krishna gave courage to everyone and then placed his right foot upon the body of the python.

At once a wonderful thing happened.

At the touch of his feet, from inside the huge body of that python emerged a very beautiful divine man. His hair fell to his shoulders. Sandal paste shone on his forehead. A garland hung around his neck, and light seemed to come from his body. Bowing low, he offered pranam to Krishna.

Krishna asked, "Who are you? Auspicious marks are all over your body. Then why did you come to such a low state? Had you been cursed by someone?"

The radiant being folded his hands. "I bow to you, Lord. Today, after so many years, by your grace I am free from the snake form. My name is Sudarshan. I was the most handsome of the gandharvas. In pride over my beauty, one day I mocked the sages of the Angira line. I laughed at their appearance. Then by their curse I came to this condition. Today you yourself have come to save me, Lord. Now please give me permission to go to the holy abode."

Krishna said, "Very well, you may go. But let this beauty not again become the cause of your ruin."

Sudarshan bowed deeply. "O God, O Supreme Soul, I will remember your command all my life."

Parikshit said, "I heard the story of Sudarshan. But who is this Shankhachur, Lord?"

Shukadeva replied, "Shankhachur is a servant of Kubera. One night in Vrindavan, when the gopis were listening in the grove forest to the songs of Krishna and Balaram, this Shankhachur saw them. The gopis were then lost in the divine music of the Supreme Lord. Krishna and Balaram too were floating in the ocean of melody. They had no sense of anything else. Taking this chance, that wicked Shankhachur came and covered the women of Braj with his magic. Then he started leading them toward the world of the gandharvas."

The frightened gopis cried out, "Krishna Balaram, save us!"

"Krishna Balaram, save us, save us!"

"Have mercy, save us!"

"Protect us, Lord, protect us!"

At that time the two brothers were absorbed in music. The cries of the friends did not reach their ears. Meanwhile that gandharva had gone quite far away with the girls of Braj.

Then suddenly Krishna came out of his deep mood. Learning of Shankhachur's wicked act, he became red with anger. Taking two sal trees in their hands, the two brothers rushed toward that gandharva with great force.

When Shankhachur saw them from a distance, fear rose in his heart. Leaving the women of Braj behind, he began to run for his life. But Krishna caught him and struck him with his powerful fist. At once Shankhachur lost his life and fell to the ground. On his head was a very precious jewel. Krishna took that jewel and gave it as a gift to Balaram.

Parikshit asked, "O sage, was this killing of Shankhachur the last pastime of Vrindavan?"

Shukadeva answered, "The ones who died by his hand—those were not pastimes, O King. Those were acts of deliverance. What is truly called lila is far beyond all that. Do you understand, O King?"

"Then what was the last pastime of Vrindavan, Lord?"

Shukadeva's face grew grave and gentle. "That is a very deep lila, Parikshit. You may call it the Maharas. The rasa you heard of before—this Maharas was a much greater form of that same rasa. At the center of this stood Radharani herself. With her, Lord Krishna began the rasa lila."

Parikshit asked humbly, "What is rasa, Acharyadev?"

"Rasa is really a dance," Shukadeva explained. "One stands in the middle, and all the others form a circle and dance. Have you ever seen such a sight, O King? That is the way of rasa. The real point is that in that circle there is only one male dancer, and all the others are female dancers."

"In that dance circle of Vrindavan, Krishna was the only male. Is that why it is called rasa, Lord?"

"Truly, Krishna alone was the only male there. Without knowing it, you have spoken a very precious truth, Parikshit. Perhaps you yourself do not know what you have said."

Parikshit lowered his head. "Forgive me, Lord. I did not understand your words."

Shukadeva said, "Even the gods of heaven came to see that Maharas, Parikshit. Mahadev himself came. But do you know the true point? None of them could remain in male form. They had to take female form before they could enter that circle of rasa. Because, as you yourself just said, in that rasa circle Krishna alone is the Purusha, the Supreme Soul. All the rest are Prakriti."

Parikshit asked, "Then could the other men of Braj not be in that rasa, Acharyadev?"

"No, O King. This rasa was for Krishna and Shri Radhika. Along with them, their friends also took part."

"When Radharani herself was there, Krishna would surely remain with her. Then the other friends—did they also receive Krishna?"

"Yes, O King. Every one of them received Krishna."

"How was that possible, Lord?"

"As many friends as there were, that many Krishnas. He created one Krishna after another from himself. In the middle of the circle he danced as a pair with Shri Radhika. And with the group of friends dancing in a circle, there was one Krishna with each one of them. That rasa circle became filled with countless Krishnas."

Parikshit's eyes widened. "One cannot even imagine such a scene, Lord."

"No, O King, truly one cannot. This happened only once in this world. Countless Krishnas were dancing together, playing the flute. The melody of the flute rose all around. Hearing that melody, even the waters of the Yamuna seemed to begin to churn strongly. One watch of the night after another passed, yet no one had any sense of time. All seemed lost in a great divine trance."

Then the holy names resounded:

"Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare.
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare."

Shukadeva continued, "With each dear friend, just as was her liking, just as was her wish, Shyam Sundar was dancing in that very way. Everyone was full of delight and satisfaction."

Parikshit said eagerly, "And then? I want to hear more of this Maharas. Please tell me everything, Lord. What happened after that?"

Shukadeva said, "After that, Krishna disappeared from that rasa circle. He could no longer be found."

Parikshit was startled. "Disappeared? Why, Lord? Where did he go?"

"He vanished into emptiness. Have you seen camphor, O King? When it disappears, nothing remains of it. Just so, nothing of Krishna was left there. Not even a sign remained."

"But why, Lord? Was there some reason behind this too? Was this also his lila?"

"Yes, O King, there was surely a reason. Krishna does not stay where there is pride. Pride had come into the hearts of those gopis who were blessed in such a divine way. It had come because Madanmohan was dancing as they wished, moving with them, wiping their tired faces with his own hands, caring for them. Each one had received her own Krishna. That Krishna knew no one but that gopi. This happened when the gopis began to think that Krishna was only hers and no one else's. From this feeling of possession, pride was born."

Then the gopis looked around in fear and confusion.

"Where did Madhav go, where did he go? Alas, he was just with us—where is he?"

"Yes, friend, now he is not here."

"Friend, did you see? Madhav is not with me either. What shall I do now? Where shall I search?"

One of them said, "Come, let us go to the bank of the Yamuna, to the kadamba grove. Let us search everywhere. Surely, surely Madhav has played a trick on us. He is hiding somewhere."

"Come, come."

"Yes, friend, come, come."

The friends anxiously began to search. But they could not find Krishna anywhere. Soon they spread out and searched all over Vrindavan. Still Krishna was nowhere to be found. Stopping the dance of rasa, the group of friends began to cry in sorrow.

"O Giridhari, where are you hiding, Lord? Why did you leave us and go away? Come back, Madhav, come back. Without you this rasa—this rasa is incomplete. Lord, come back, Lord."

Then suddenly they heard his voice.

"Do not cry, friends. Here I am."

"Madhav! Madhav!" they cried. "Tell us, where had you gone? Where had you gone, and why did you leave us? Tell us, why did you leave us? Answer us—why are you silent?"

Krishna said softly, "Ask your own hearts why I had gone. They know well."

At once the gopis understood. With tears in their eyes they said, "We understand now, Lord. After receiving you as our own, pride had risen in our hearts. We had grown proud of our good fortune. We forgot that it was by your wish that our fate had turned. Madhav, Madhav, forgive us, Krishna. Forgive us."

Krishna's face became gentle again. "Now, dear friends, you have understood your mistake. You have repented. All your faults are now forgiven. Come, let our joy begin again."

Again the holy names rose like waves:

"Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare.
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare.
Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare.
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare."

After listening for some time, King Parikshit asked, "Lord, you told of everyone in the rasa lila. But Radharani too was in the Maharas. Yet you did not tell her part. Now please tell me about her, O sage."

Shukadeva replied, "Radharani was not among that restless group of friends, O King. When Krishna disappeared, he went away taking her with him. In a lonely grove, Radha and Krishna began their divine play together. After a long time in that play, Shri Radhika became tired. She said to Krishna, 'I cannot walk anymore, Madhav. I have no strength left. I feel very tired.'"

Krishna said lovingly, "Do not worry, Radhe. Come, I will carry you on my shoulder."

"You will carry me, Madhav?"

"All right then."

Joy filled Radharani's heart. But just as she was about to climb onto Shyam's shoulder, at that very moment Shyam Sundar disappeared from there as well.

Not seeing him, Shri Radhika cried out loudly in sorrow.

Parikshit was deeply troubled. "He left even Radharani? Why, Acharyadev? Shri Radhika is dearer to him than life."

Shukadeva answered, "Shrimad Bhagavat says that in the heart of that matchless friend of Braj too, pride had arisen, O King. Pride had arisen. Therefore Shri Hari also moved away from her."

Parikshit bowed and said, "Please forgive my boldness, Lord. If I am worthy to hear it, then please bless me by sharing your thought on this matter, Acharyadev."

Shukadeva said, "This rasa lila is the last lila of Vrindavan, O King. The moon, the stars, the constellations—all stood still and became absorbed in watching this divine lila. So time did not move forward, O King. The night became longer and longer. Therefore the time of this rasa is endless. This rasa was the final lila of Yogamaya. After this Krishna will go to Mathura. Vrindavan will not have him anymore. So his leaving the stage of rasa may also be a sign of that coming event, O King. Even if Vrindavan did not yet know it, he himself surely knew that its time was coming to an end."

Parikshit asked, "When the friends returned home after this long time of rasa, did the people of their homes raise no objection, Acharyadev? Did they ask no questions?"

"No, O King. Here too is the lila of Yogamaya. By her power, no question arose in anyone's mind. No one could even know of their absence. Because by Yogamaya's blessing, substitute bodies of the friends remained in their homes. So no one had any doubt. No question arose."

Parikshit sat quietly for a moment and then asked, "You keep saying the last lila of Vrindavan, Acharyadev. Then has news of Krishna now reached Kansa? Who brought the news that Krishna must go to Mathura, Lord?"

Shukadeva answered, "Yes, O King. News of Krishna has now reached Kansa. Kansa has learned everything. So he is sending his most trusted servant to the land of Braj. Now I will tell you about him, Parikshit."